I Used to Resent my Husband...
I contemplated leaving...
Don’t freak out - those days are long gone.
I KNOW I married my soul mate…
But, there was definitely a long period of time there where I was SO DAMN RESENTFUL!!!
After that, the next few years were a blur. I took a 1-year Esthetician program after high school, and Ryan went to college. Cohen was born while he was doing exams. After that, the next few years were a blur.
Worked 3 jobs while Ryan ended up in trade school. I worked 7 am-3 pm at the TD Call Centre in a sales position, 4 pm-9 pm at a Spa, and 9:30 pm-2:30 am at a bar. I hardly saw my son for a couple of years there. But, I was doing what I thought needed to be done.
Then Ryan got a job in Alberta (we lived in Ontario at the time). It paid 4x as much as his last job.
It meant that he was gone 21 straight night shifts, home for 7 days off. That meant I had to man the fort…
While working a new full-time job (just one at that point).
The resent kicked in pretty quickly.
We could finally “breathe” because our bills were getting paid, but I kept thinking… “What about me??"
Not doing something "I LOVE.” I was unfulfilled.
Someone told me: “What you spend all of your FREE time doing, is what you’re meant to do”. I had begun working out a few months before that. In the few quiet moments, I had when the kids were in bed and Ryan was away at work, I was watching YouTube videos from bed all about gratitude, manifestation, fitness, nutrition…
I was consumed by it!
It lit the fire under my ass and gave me something to be excited about! It took a while longer before I took the big step and started my business. I needed to go through my own physical and spiritual transformation and learn more before I got started.
But that journey has been over 7 years long now.
Am I ever grateful I took ownership of my desires, rather than leaving my husband because I was feeling unfulfilled.
Initially, I looked to him for happiness, but ya know what?
We are ALL the masters of our own destiny!
We create our own reality!
Is this resonating with you?
I’d love to hear about it!